Thanks for this piece and sharing your experiences. I have also been in that struggle of insecurity many times over 20 years and 10 countries. At one point, I lived in Myanmar and had to renew my visa every 70 days for 5 years, while paying my flat rent yearly in advance - that was so much unrest - and I didn't always know how to manage it. The issue I find now is that once your career is tied up in an international career, it is hard to find the right stable situation. Being at home for a few years during Covid helped. And I have found better ways to manage this unrootedness - but it is something that I wish I had known more about when I was younger and starting out on this journey. Good luck with your next steps!
With 20 years and 10 countries, you’re a seasoned broad abroad with a wealth of stories and wisdom, so thank you for sharing a bit of it here. 🩷
Having to renew your visa every 70 days seems like nightmare. How do you even keep track of all those documents let alone doing it for 5 years?! 🙈
I agree, once you go down this life, it’s hard to go back to “normal”, especially when you’ve built your career internationally. I guess we just adapt and find solace in that visas troubles and having a constantly changing life is part of the expat journey!
Yes the visa process kind of became normal. Usually I just had a file with the docs which I processed in Bangkok or on arrival depending on the visa type/rules at the time. They did introduce a way to start doing this incountry towards the end of my stay but it meant visiting about 3 government offices in different parts of town during the hours of 8 - 1pm so it was almost easier to exit/re-enter than do that. I agree normal can be hard - and when I was back in scotland for 3 years I noticed i never talked about my previous life abroad/no one asked and so it often felt like I lost a part of myself that was also important as a price to belonging back there.
Thank you for your lovely words 😊 and you're so right - it sucks when we're going through those difficult moments and feel like our focus should be elsewhere.. exploring freely without the stress and worries. But in retrospect, if we take these moments as a chance to learn and grow, it may even benefit us in the long run. I'm still quite new on Substack but I'll be sharing more resources in the coming weeks. This weekend, I'll record another short meditation to reconnect with the 'inner resource' - that safe space that we can always return to when feeling overwhelmed and stressed (this has been tested in some reputable studies, including military communities). For anyone interested in meditation, this would be a good basis to start from. I aim to make my newsletter a mix of information and short exercises, so that the actual practice doesn't fall short. But I'm always thankful for any feedback and new ideas 😊
That ‘inner resource’ meditation sounds like something a lot of expats, with chronically unsettled and demanding lives, would really benefit from. Thanks for putting out this work! I’ll check out that meditation and will suggest it to my community in part 2 of this newsletter which will come out next week 🩷
"You can’t live your best life abroad if you’re stuck in survival mode." I really feel this. A few years back, I moved to Rome for my semester abroad and, while everyone around me seemed to live their best student life, I was deeply stuck in survival mode, having just recovered from a health condition (physically recovered - mentally, I wasn't there yet). I caused myself even more stress the more I thought about my stress. I didn't have any 'quick pill solution' but started to slowly loosen my resistance, and the more I let go of trying to control, the easier it became. I started practicing more yoga and meditation, which helped my nervous system with finally finding some calm on my mat. It became my safe place, where I could allow myself to relax, day by day a little more. Breathing exercises allowed me to regain trust in mind and body. There was a time where I was scared that those anxiety and panic attacks would return, but I knew that if they did, I had the tools to bring myself back to safety. Everyone has their own place where they can feel safe and secure, and it takes a while to figure out that magic combination that works for each person. I can really feel your struggle! It can all feel so much more intense when we're abroad. But no matter where we go, that inner resource is always within us. We just need to remind ourselves of that - that calmness and sense of safety is already within you, right now. Sending you all the positive thoughts, and I'll definitely come back for Part 2 :) Theresa
What a beautiful response! Thank you so much for sharing your experience! While it sucks that you had to go through such a tough time abroad, it’s amazing to hear how you were able to find healing and safety within yourself through yoga and meditation. I’ve dabbled in those practices here and there but I’m really intrigued by the idea that you can create a home within yourself that feels safe and secure- no matter where you are in the world. I think a lot of expats (including myself) would benefit a lot from having that. I’d love to learn more about it! Have you published any resources for expats on your newsletter I can refer to??
Juvi, I know exactly what those visa struggles feel like. So I feel you! But hang in there, it'll all figure itself out. I am sure that deep down you know that. Everything always turns out the way the tit should. But the process of it all is so nerve-racking. I feel for you and we're all here rooting for you!
Thanks for your encouragement, Katharina! 🩷 Knowing a bit about what you went through reminds me that having crazy visa stories is a very universal and unifying experience amongst expats. I’ve met many expats who love living abroad but I’ve yet to meet one who’s had a smooth visa experience! At least it makes me feel like I’m not alone, and for that I am so thankful
Man, this is hard! I hope everything works out for you, here or there, however it's meant to. I completely understand about the lack of security--in many ways we're right there with you. I think the biggest sense of security is simply deciding not to be 'abroad' anymore: to go home, or jump through all the logistical & spiritual hoopes to decide that *this* is home. Onward into the fog!
I love how you acknowledge the spiritual hoops along with the logistical ones. Sometimes it’s the emotional journeys we embark on as expats, rather than the logistical ones that give us the most grief.
Thank you for your kind words and well wishes! 🩷 into the unknown we goooo
Oh gosh, Juvi, thank you for trusting us with your story and update. It absolutely sucks that your employer pulled the rug from under you. I can only imagine how head-spiraling it must have felt! Glad to know you have another way to be able to stay.
I relate to all your points - without a secure visa, it’s easy to meet every day with a sense of anxiety. It’s tiring to think of plan Bs to Zs, and to think of how to get the next visa after the current one we have! It’s how I felt waiting for my resident visa in NZ, back when the estimated waiting times for a response were 24 months long 😵💫
Love that you were able to go on a road trip on the north island! Is the south island the next on your list? We did it in 2020 - it was so magical that we did it again in 2021!
It’s definitely been a whirlwind last few weeks! But I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and when one door closes another opens.
Living in the state of limbo is honestly one of the worst parts of living abroad. 😭😩 it’s like you put your whole life on hold until you get more certainty/ clarity.
South Island is definitely on the list!! Idk how long I’m going to be in NZ for but I’m definitely not leaving without seeing the Fjords. Do you have a YT of your trip/ tips for where to go??
Thank you so much for your support and feedback! Makes me truly happy knowing that this can help someone find a bit of calm in the chaos that expat life can be 🤍
Thanks for this piece and sharing your experiences. I have also been in that struggle of insecurity many times over 20 years and 10 countries. At one point, I lived in Myanmar and had to renew my visa every 70 days for 5 years, while paying my flat rent yearly in advance - that was so much unrest - and I didn't always know how to manage it. The issue I find now is that once your career is tied up in an international career, it is hard to find the right stable situation. Being at home for a few years during Covid helped. And I have found better ways to manage this unrootedness - but it is something that I wish I had known more about when I was younger and starting out on this journey. Good luck with your next steps!
With 20 years and 10 countries, you’re a seasoned broad abroad with a wealth of stories and wisdom, so thank you for sharing a bit of it here. 🩷
Having to renew your visa every 70 days seems like nightmare. How do you even keep track of all those documents let alone doing it for 5 years?! 🙈
I agree, once you go down this life, it’s hard to go back to “normal”, especially when you’ve built your career internationally. I guess we just adapt and find solace in that visas troubles and having a constantly changing life is part of the expat journey!
Yes the visa process kind of became normal. Usually I just had a file with the docs which I processed in Bangkok or on arrival depending on the visa type/rules at the time. They did introduce a way to start doing this incountry towards the end of my stay but it meant visiting about 3 government offices in different parts of town during the hours of 8 - 1pm so it was almost easier to exit/re-enter than do that. I agree normal can be hard - and when I was back in scotland for 3 years I noticed i never talked about my previous life abroad/no one asked and so it often felt like I lost a part of myself that was also important as a price to belonging back there.
Thank you for your lovely words 😊 and you're so right - it sucks when we're going through those difficult moments and feel like our focus should be elsewhere.. exploring freely without the stress and worries. But in retrospect, if we take these moments as a chance to learn and grow, it may even benefit us in the long run. I'm still quite new on Substack but I'll be sharing more resources in the coming weeks. This weekend, I'll record another short meditation to reconnect with the 'inner resource' - that safe space that we can always return to when feeling overwhelmed and stressed (this has been tested in some reputable studies, including military communities). For anyone interested in meditation, this would be a good basis to start from. I aim to make my newsletter a mix of information and short exercises, so that the actual practice doesn't fall short. But I'm always thankful for any feedback and new ideas 😊
That ‘inner resource’ meditation sounds like something a lot of expats, with chronically unsettled and demanding lives, would really benefit from. Thanks for putting out this work! I’ll check out that meditation and will suggest it to my community in part 2 of this newsletter which will come out next week 🩷
"You can’t live your best life abroad if you’re stuck in survival mode." I really feel this. A few years back, I moved to Rome for my semester abroad and, while everyone around me seemed to live their best student life, I was deeply stuck in survival mode, having just recovered from a health condition (physically recovered - mentally, I wasn't there yet). I caused myself even more stress the more I thought about my stress. I didn't have any 'quick pill solution' but started to slowly loosen my resistance, and the more I let go of trying to control, the easier it became. I started practicing more yoga and meditation, which helped my nervous system with finally finding some calm on my mat. It became my safe place, where I could allow myself to relax, day by day a little more. Breathing exercises allowed me to regain trust in mind and body. There was a time where I was scared that those anxiety and panic attacks would return, but I knew that if they did, I had the tools to bring myself back to safety. Everyone has their own place where they can feel safe and secure, and it takes a while to figure out that magic combination that works for each person. I can really feel your struggle! It can all feel so much more intense when we're abroad. But no matter where we go, that inner resource is always within us. We just need to remind ourselves of that - that calmness and sense of safety is already within you, right now. Sending you all the positive thoughts, and I'll definitely come back for Part 2 :) Theresa
What a beautiful response! Thank you so much for sharing your experience! While it sucks that you had to go through such a tough time abroad, it’s amazing to hear how you were able to find healing and safety within yourself through yoga and meditation. I’ve dabbled in those practices here and there but I’m really intrigued by the idea that you can create a home within yourself that feels safe and secure- no matter where you are in the world. I think a lot of expats (including myself) would benefit a lot from having that. I’d love to learn more about it! Have you published any resources for expats on your newsletter I can refer to??
Juvi, I know exactly what those visa struggles feel like. So I feel you! But hang in there, it'll all figure itself out. I am sure that deep down you know that. Everything always turns out the way the tit should. But the process of it all is so nerve-racking. I feel for you and we're all here rooting for you!
Thanks for your encouragement, Katharina! 🩷 Knowing a bit about what you went through reminds me that having crazy visa stories is a very universal and unifying experience amongst expats. I’ve met many expats who love living abroad but I’ve yet to meet one who’s had a smooth visa experience! At least it makes me feel like I’m not alone, and for that I am so thankful
That is so true - I have also yet to meet one who’s had a smooth visa experience. I guess we’re all in it together!
Man, this is hard! I hope everything works out for you, here or there, however it's meant to. I completely understand about the lack of security--in many ways we're right there with you. I think the biggest sense of security is simply deciding not to be 'abroad' anymore: to go home, or jump through all the logistical & spiritual hoopes to decide that *this* is home. Onward into the fog!
I love how you acknowledge the spiritual hoops along with the logistical ones. Sometimes it’s the emotional journeys we embark on as expats, rather than the logistical ones that give us the most grief.
Thank you for your kind words and well wishes! 🩷 into the unknown we goooo
Oh gosh, Juvi, thank you for trusting us with your story and update. It absolutely sucks that your employer pulled the rug from under you. I can only imagine how head-spiraling it must have felt! Glad to know you have another way to be able to stay.
I relate to all your points - without a secure visa, it’s easy to meet every day with a sense of anxiety. It’s tiring to think of plan Bs to Zs, and to think of how to get the next visa after the current one we have! It’s how I felt waiting for my resident visa in NZ, back when the estimated waiting times for a response were 24 months long 😵💫
Love that you were able to go on a road trip on the north island! Is the south island the next on your list? We did it in 2020 - it was so magical that we did it again in 2021!
It’s definitely been a whirlwind last few weeks! But I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and when one door closes another opens.
Living in the state of limbo is honestly one of the worst parts of living abroad. 😭😩 it’s like you put your whole life on hold until you get more certainty/ clarity.
South Island is definitely on the list!! Idk how long I’m going to be in NZ for but I’m definitely not leaving without seeing the Fjords. Do you have a YT of your trip/ tips for where to go??
Thank you so much for your support and feedback! Makes me truly happy knowing that this can help someone find a bit of calm in the chaos that expat life can be 🤍