007: The Sacrifices I Make to Live Abroad
Is the grass on the other side of the world really greener?
When I started writing this newsletter, I made a promise—to myself and to you, my lovely readers—that I’d always keep it real. I’m not here to blindly sell you the “move abroad” dream the way a lot of creators do on Instagram and TikTok. What I will do is equip you with the truth about what life abroad is actually like, so you can decide if this path is right for you.
Sure, I could sell you the dream. I could take all the highlights from my five years abroad—the breathtaking sunsets, the adventures, the nights out—and edit them into a perfectly curated, 30-second reel set to the latest trending song.
But that highlight reel? It’s maybe 1% of my reality. And remember, the creators who are selling you that dream are in the business of curating that image. So please, don’t compare your life to theirs —whether you live abroad or not. Even I catch myself thinking, “Am I doing something wrong?” when my life abroad doesn’t look as glamorous as theirs.
The truth is, 99% of my experience is ordinary. I work a full-time 9-to-5 job. My kitchen gets messy when I cook. I procrastinate on putting dishes in the dishwasher. I have to file taxes every year. The only difference? I’m navigating all of life’s ups and downs while living in a different country—and that comes with its own set of sacrifices.
So, what are the untold sacrifices that come with living abroad?
1. Missing Milestones Back Home
When you live on the other side of the world, you can’t just hop on a plane for every birthday, wedding, or graduation. In the past six years, I’ve missed countless big moments—the birth of my friends’ babies, major celebrations, and even ordinary nights out that I wish I could have been there for. It’s truly one of the hardest sacrifices I make, because I deeply love my friends and family back in America, and it hurts to not be physically present in their lives.
I send cards. I FaceTime. But it’s not the same. Until someone invents teleportation, this is one of the biggest trade-offs expats have to accept.
2. Financial Instability
If you crave stability, moving abroad might not be for you—at least not at first.
In the beginning, you’re not thinking about your retirement fund or buying a house. You’re thinking about survival. Every dollar goes toward rent, visas, and just trying to stay afloat. Over time, you can build a stable life—but that depends on your visa. If you’re on a temporary visa, like a working holiday, your future is only as secure as your next visa renewal.
Almost 6 years into my abroad journey, I feel like I’m playing financial catch-up with my peers who have had the stability back home to put money away, invest, and even own property by now.
3. Putting My Education on Hold
I’ve always loved learning. At one point, I even dreamed of getting a master’s or PhD in Sociology. But my desire for travel and independence pulled me in a different direction. I'd still love to go back to school someday, but right now, it just doesn’t feel realistic—and I’m not sure if the right opportunity will ever come. After being out of the education system since 2019, the idea of stepping back into student mode feels overwhelming.
4. Hyper-Independence Wrecking My Nervous System
Living abroad means you’re #girlbossing 24/7—because you have to.
There’s no safety net. No parents to bail you out. No lifelong support system to fall back on. If that means taking on three jobs to pay rent, you do it. If that means picking blueberries on a farm for six months to extend your visa, you put on your work boots and go.
Lately, I’ve realized that this constant state of going after my goals and making my dreams happen has left my nervous system wrecked. It’s something I’m now addressing—through chiropractic care, meditation, working out, and energy work.
5. Losing my Autonomy to my Visa
Depending on your visa, you may have to commit to a specific job or relationship to stay in your chosen country. For example, for the visa I’m applying for, I need to work for my employer for two years before I can apply for residency. In Australia, I had to stay in the same toxic relationship for two years to keep my partnership visa. Not having the full autonomy to leave environments and relationships because your ability to stay in a country hinges on a job or a partner is a major sacrifice.
You’re probably thinking “WTF, Juvi, you hyped me up to live abroad and gave me the tools to do it, why are you discouraging me from going now?”
I’m not telling you all of this to discourage you from moving abroad. I just want to tell you what no influencer will. I’m not selling you the dream—I’m just offering you the truth (or at least my version of it).
So, is the grass greener on the other side of the world?
To be honest, I can’t answer that for you because everyone’s abroad experience is different. I think the better question to ask is: Are the trade-offs to living abroad worth it for you?
Perhaps the price of living abroad is too steep. Perhaps you’d rather stay close to family and friends and not have the constant threat of a visa looming over your head. I get that—from the depths of my weary expat soul, I truly respect that.
As for me, I accept my life abroad for what it is— and what it isn’t.
It’s not always like the glamourous TikToks on my feed, and I’m okay with that. Life abroad is just LIFE- in all its various shades of excitement and mundanity- far away from the place I once called home. But, despite this reality and all the trade-offs that come with it, being able to live independently, explore unbelievable parts of the world, enrich myself with new experiences and cultures, and create deep and meaningful connections with people from all walks of life has been worth the sacrifices.
💖Where are you from? Brazil
💖Where are you living now? New Zealand
💖What’s one thing you love about the country you’re living in now?
It’s hard to choose just one thing, but if I had to, I’d say the endless possibilities.
I moved here almost 10 years ago, not knowing a word of English, and today, I’m a financial advisor and coach, helping people build long-term wealth and financial freedom.
New Zealand has given me opportunities I could never have imagined back home in Brazil. It’s a place where, if you’re willing to learn, work hard, and take risks, you can create the life you want.
Here, dreams don’t just stay dreams...you can actually make them happen.
💖 What’s the hardest part about being away from home?
The hardest part? Being away from my family.
Knowing my parents are getting older, and I’m not there for the little moments...the everyday conversations.
And my niece and nephew? They’re growing up so fast, and I’m missing it. I see them change through photos and video calls, but it’s not the same as being there, watching them grow in real time.
💖 What’s the weirdest or funniest translation mishap you’ve had?
Oh gosh, that’s a funny one!
When I first arrived, I was working as a waitress with barely any English. One day, a customer asked for a ""cuppa,"" and I had no idea what they meant.
I panicked and thought, ‘Cuppa? That must mean cappuccino!’
So, I proudly brought them a cappuccino… only to realise they actually wanted a cup of tea! 😅
Safe to say, I learned that lesson quickly!
💖 📲Follow Dani on Instagram and Linkedin
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So, you know how I just wrote about the unsexy parts of living abroad? Well, I’m deep in the unsexyness right now (AKA I’m filing my visa). For the expats on this email list, you know how painful this process can be. 😭
I’m incredibly thankful to have found an employer willing to sponsor me, and even more grateful for the fact that I actually love what I do. But do I love having to sift through years' worth of payslips and contracts to prove my working experience? Not so much.
That’s exactly what I did this weekend. I took myself to my local coffee shop, dove into New Zealand’s immigration website, and sorted through everything I need to do—what to file, what to expect, timelines, etc.
Anyone else need to bribe themselves with sweet treats to power through the hard stuff? I went with a biscoff and chocolate donut. 🍩
🌹 Another Broad Abroad is sponsoring an event!
A quick shout out to Dani who’s hosting an International Women’s Day event here in Auckland, teaching women how to build wealth through property. There will be a panel of women, one of which is an expat who’s built a property development empire #goals.
If you’re interested in going, the link to the event is here!
That’s it for this edition.
I’d love to hear from you 👉 have you ever felt FOMO on TikTok/ Instagram watching other people’s lives abroad? Let’s discuss in the comments.
Catchya next week!
Muah 💋
Juvi
Hard on no. 1 & 4! Such a good article.
Juviand, I just found you on here and instantly subscribed. I've lived abroad many times in my life and love reading about other's experiences. I can't totally relate to what you're saying about hyper-independence, I couldn't have described it any better. Suddenly you're figuring it all out on your own, no matter what it is. And the crazy thing is that as hard as it is, it is also SO empowering. Everything is figure-out-able and I've proved that to myself time and time again. I am not saying it was easy, there were a lot of tears involved and moments where I felt so lost and alone. But in the end, it always worked out.