Two Homes, One Heart Abroad: Life Between Boston and Tangier
Sinclair Finding Her "Soul Family" in North Africa and The Many Uses for “Safi”
Meet Sinclair, my fellow Kenyon College ’19 alum who traded Boston's brick-lined streets for Morocco's vibrant markets and Mediterranean views. Reading her answers to this week’s questions, I was captivated by how her storytelling ability (a quintessential Kenyon trait, if you'll permit my alma mater pride 💜) brought Tangier to life through tales of market regulars, linguistic adventures, and the delicate art of sustaining connections across continents.
In this edition of Another Broad Abroad, Sinclair invites us into her world as an elementary school teacher building a life in North Africa, illustrating the fine balancing act it takes “to nurture two homes at once.”
💖 Where are you from?
The Greater Boston Area
💖 Where have you lived abroad & where do you live now?
I've lived in Paris and Morocco. I'm currently based in Tangier, Morocco.
💖 What’s been your proudest “I really live here now” moment?
I feel lucky to have many moments, big and small, that come to mind when answering this question. Just thinking about it makes me smile. One of my first and favorite moments happened a few years ago when I was grocery shopping at the souk near my house, where I am considered a regular. The guy I buy my eggs from is also my neighbor, and I have developed a loyalty to several of the vendors over the years, with whom I now have become “my ____ guy.” Trufthfully, I feel cool having a guy who I buy my vegetables from and a different guy for my fruit. Even if I am not shopping, I pass them by and we say hi to each other.
My proud, I live here moment happened while shopping at my fruit guy. As I was in the middle of the transaction, another woman who was shopping next to me said something in an offhanded sort of negative way to the vendor. My Darija was not as good at the time so I only caught a few words. I knew she was talking about me because she called me a foreigner or “gawria.” Then, this man stood up for me. I mean genuinely told this woman what’s up. My fruit guy replied that I was not a foreign visitor and he used the word “tanjawia,” translating to “from Tangier.” My heart was so happy and I smiled at him a little bigger than usual and thanked him after making my purchase. Little did he know how much that truly meant to me. I felt accepted into the community in a new way that day. I walked away thinking, “I’ve made it, I mean, I truly live here.
💖 What’s the hardest part about being away from home?
Living away from where you grew up is not for the weak of heart. The most challenging part is creating and having the capacity to nurture two homes at once. It’s hard not being as present in the lives of my family and friends the same way as I once was. It is like having multiple long-distance relationships with everyone I know. It is a battle to find time to connect and create quality time through time differences, anywhere between 12-2 hours. It takes effort on both sides to keep the relationships flourishing. Without the continued contact, my life and my friends lives start to fade away. This is only half of the battle.
The other half is creating a new community and meeting new people. I find it difficult to make time for my social life sometimes as an elementary school teacher who prioritizes the gym and getting a good nights sleep. I am definitely adulting. Lucky for me, the gym is a wonderful place to form new connections and deepen my relationship with some of my friends. I was intimidated by starting a life in a city that I had never been to and knew absolutely no one. It took a great deal of courage and trust in myself to take that leap of faith. It worked out better than I could have imagined. I’ve met some of my soul family and made friends for life here. I do my best to live fully and presently. So, I embrace the challenge of having to nurture two homes at once and I will continue to do so now that my friends and family are international.
💖 What’s a local phrase or slang word you’ve totally embraced?
Every language has it’s own variation of a key word or phrase and in Moroco safi is number one on that list. I learned it right away and it stuck like glue. It's a chameleon of a word that can be used in many ways and in various contexts all meaning enough or stop. Yet, the way it is said matters greatly. It creates nuanced differences. It might be the most useful word to know in Moroccan Darija.
Picture this: a taxi is driving you home and you say, “safi” to stop. You over hear a conversation and one friend says, “safi,” as in “okay, I got it.” Someone is generously giving you too much food so you say, “safi” for “that’s good, enough.” You are annoyed by your friend who is complaining so you say, “saaaafi.” When someone is insisting something that you disagree with you say it twice, “safi, safi” to say “that’s it.” A small child is crying and the father holding their hand says lovingly, “safi, safi,” saying “it’s okay stop crying.” A classic combination over the phone, “safi yallah” to say “okay bye.” Safi can be just about anything you need it to be depending on how you say it.
Reading Sinclair’s words, “Living away from where you grew up is not for the weak of heart," I couldn’t help but nod to myself. It requires courage to start anew in an unfamiliar place where you know no one, and resilience to maintain connections across time zones and continents. Yet her story reminds us that the reward for such courage is often found in unexpected moments, like being defended as a true "tanjawia" by your neighborhood fruit vendor, or finding your "soul family" in places you'd never imagined.
What strikes me most about Sinclair's experience is how she's mastered the art of presence, fully embracing her life in Tangier while nurturing relationships back home. It's this delicate balance that defines the expat experience, learning to carry multiple worlds within you and finding home in the in-between.
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That’s it for this edition.
I’d love to hear from you 👉 Have you ever had a moment where you suddenly felt you belonged in a new place? What triggered that feeling for you?
Answer in the comments!
Catchya next week!
Muah 💋
Juvi
Yes I agree Juvi - being fully present and seeing the joyful things in each day are a small part of the big puzzle of living abroad. My local moment is being asked for direction by Spanish visitors to Madrid - I think I have lost my 'extranjera' vibe.