Adulting Abroad: How to Build Safety When Everything Feels Foreign
Six essential foundations + FREE assessment tool
Everyone’s abroad experience is different because we’re all unique—different motivations, backgrounds, and cultures, choosing to live in various parts of the world. Yet, what fascinates me about the work I do at Another Broad Abroad is uncovering that thread of commonality that connects one broad’s experience moving from Costa Rica to Canada, another’s from the Netherlands to New Zealand, or yet another’s from Poland to Papua New Guinea. Very different people. Very different places.
Still, despite these differences, I’ve come to realize that there’s a fundamental truth about living abroad—no matter who you are or where you go—and it all boils down to psychology.
After recent events that impacted my visa here in New Zealand, leaving me anxious and stressed, I realized what this truth is: if you don’t feel safe, you’ll never truly feel happy living abroad.
📖 Read Part 1 to catch up on the latest
By applying Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to my own experience living abroad, everything suddenly made sense. It’s given me a framework to understand what I’ve been going through and a blueprint to meet my psychological and safety needs as an expat.
How to Create Safety Abroad
Here are some practical, tangible ways to establish psychological and safety needs abroad. I've also included questions for you to assess your own safety levels.
These are meant to help you identify weak spots in your abroad experience so you can address them head-on:
1. Build Your Network
Starting from scratch in a new country can be daunting, but creating connections is essential for both practical support and emotional wellbeing.
Balance your circles: Create a mix of expat connections who understand your experience and local friends who provide cultural insights. Join expat Facebook groups and local networking events. Read here for my tips on beating loneliness abroad.
Gentle reminder: Without established connections, you'll need to initiate more often. Say yes to invitations, and follow up consistently. Don't just wait for others to include you! Make opportunities for yourself by sowing seeds of connection.
Assessment questions:
Do I feel like I have someone I can call if I'm stuck?
In an emergency, is there someone I can rely on to help?
Have I established at least one deeper friendship where I can be myself?
2. Secure Your Finances
Financial insecurity can completely undermine your abroad experience, turning adventure into anxiety.
Job security: Network aggressively in your professional field locally while maintaining your LinkedIn profile for international opportunities. Research local work culture to improve your chances of workplace success. Read here for my tips on LinkedIn networking as an expat.
Emergency fund: Work toward that $10K "mobility fund" that remains untouched except for true emergencies. Build this gradually if you don't have it yet—even setting aside 5-10% of each paycheck adds up. Track your progress and celebrate milestones along the way.
Banking setup: Establish a local bank account immediately, research expat tax implications, and set up automatic transfers to steadily build your safety net.
Assessment questions:
Do I feel confident that my income supports my needs and lifestyle?
If I lose my job or face an emergency, do I have enough to get by?
Can I handle unexpected expenses like emergency flights home?
3. Find Stable Housing
Your home is your sanctuary, which is especially important when everything else around you feels foreign. Housing insecurity creates constant background stress that affects everything else.
Strategic settling: If you’ve just moved to a new country, begin with short-term flexible stays like at an Airbnb or hostel while exploring neighborhoods, then transition to longer-term options that provide stability and fit your budget.
Local knowledge: Research rental contracts, tenant rights, and utility setup in your new country. Build a relationship with a trustworthy local real estate agent or property manager who understands expat needs.
Make it yours: Invest in creating at least one corner of your space that feels completely like "home," even with minimal possessions. This psychological anchor matters more than you might think.
Assessment questions:
Do I know where I'll be living long-term?
Do I feel safe and happy in my current living situation?
Have I created a space that feels like "home" rather than just a place to stay?
4. Get Your Visa Sorted
Living with visa uncertainty is like building a house on sand. Immigration status affects everything from your ability to work to your sense of belonging.
Strategic planning: Research all possible visa pathways for your situation and their long-term implications. Some visas lead to permanent residency while others are perpetually temporary.
Document management: Create both digital and physical systems for your immigration documents, with calendar reminders for renewal deadlines well in advance. Keep records of your visa compliance.
Professional help: For complex situations, budget for an immigration lawyer rather than relying solely on expat forums. The peace of mind is worth the investment.
Assessment questions:
How long is my visa valid, and, if it's temporary, do I have a plan for after it ends?
Do I understand the conditions and restrictions of my current visa?
Am I keeping thorough records of my immigration status and history?
Have I researched pathways to more permanent status if that's my goal?
5. Get Covered—Literally
Healthcare systems vary dramatically worldwide, and understanding your coverage is crucial for both physical and mental wellbeing.
Comprehensive insurance: Research whether you qualify for public healthcare or need private insurance. International providers like Cigna offer plans specifically designed for expats, including evacuation coverage if needed. This is the expat health insurance I use!
Local navigation: Learn how to access both emergency and routine care in your new country. Find an English-speaking doctor and identify the nearest hospital and pharmacy to your home.
Preventative approach: Maintain digital copies of your medical records, keep a supply of essential medications, and schedule regular check-ups even when feeling healthy.
Assessment questions:
Do I have insurance that will cover medical needs?
Do I know how to access healthcare services in an emergency?
Is my coverage sufficient for both routine and emergency needs?
6. Find Emotional & Existential Support
Even with all material needs met, expat life can trigger identity crises and existential questions.
Professional support: Consider therapists or coaches who specialize in expat issues, either locally or through online platforms like BetterHelp that offer remote counseling focused on expatriate challenges.
Inner resources: Develop practices that ground you—whether meditation, journaling, or creating personal rituals that connect you to a sense of safety, control and joy.
Theresa, an ABA community member, wrote a piece on her Substack about the power of “inner resource” as a grounding technique, which helped her through a turbulent time abroad. It’s a science-backed yogic practice that can help you find ease in highly stressful moments by cultivating and returning to an internal refuge of your design.
I love this concept and will definitely be exploring (and recommending) it to other expats too. Read it here ⤵️
Cultural balance: Find ways to honor both your original culture and your evolving expatriate identity. This isn't about choosing between worlds but integrating them into your unique experience.
Assessment questions:
Do I have someone I can talk to about deeper emotional struggles?
Have I found practices that help me feel grounded when overwhelmed?
Have I found ways to honor both my original identity and my evolving expatriate self?
Final Thoughts: Learning How to Crawl Before You Walk
Like learning how to walk for the first time, living confidently abroad has a natural progression that can't be rushed. Just as babies must master crawling before walking, expats need to establish safety and stability before truly thriving in their new homes.
I've learned—sometimes the hard way—that all the fun stuff that comes with living abroad only happens when you take care of the fundamentals. No skipping steps on Maslow's pyramid. Each level, from basic safety needs to social connections to self-actualization, builds upon the last, creating a solid foundation for your international life.
It might feel frustrating to focus on practical matters when all you want to do is sprint toward adventure, but creating that sense of safety and security for yourself is key to living a life abroad that feels as good as it looks.
Lastly, remember to give yourself grace. If you moved abroad in your 20s like me, keep in mind that we're learning to "adult" for the first time in a new country too, so it’s okay and expected that our first steps living independently are going to be wobbly. Despite living abroad for 6 years, I don’t feel like I’m running. Most of the time, I feel like I’m stumbling, crawling, getting back up, walking, falling, and even lying down in defeat from time to time —but we continue to live and learn, and the more we get back up, the stronger and more confident our steps forward become.
I originally created this self-assessment to check in on my own sense of safety abroad—using some of the questions I shared in this newsletter (plus a few more) to round it out to 30 thought-provoking prompts. I turned it into a downloadable resource so you can give it a go too! I’ll be working through mine, and I’d love to hear if it helps you reflect on where you're feeling secure—or where you might need to tighten things up—in your own expat experience.
That’s it for this edition.
I’d love to hear from you 👉 What areas of your expat safety net need strengthening?
I'd love to hear from you about which of these foundations you've mastered and which ones you're still working on. Answer in the comments!
Catchya next week!
Muah 💋
Juvi